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I make my home in the One Who makes His home in me. This is where ordinary days meet faith and hope and where my heart finds joy in God's heart. Join me? The back gate is open.
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Sunday, October 27, 2013
Because. He Is. My Hope.
girl leans back and drapes herself on kitchen table. I sip tea. Something loose
leaf from Tibet, I think. Gift from tea connoisseurs, daughter-in-family and her
lanky husband-my firstborn son. Gift from a piece of their own story.
fuzzy pink polka-dot socks hang dangley off one end of table, tapping the
kitchen air all lark.
steeps in traditional Japanese tea pot. Spout and handle side by side. Not
English style. Gift from Japan-traveling German husband. I pour Tibetan tea.
Liquid stream of amber. And china cup fills. Steady, slow, careful.
this pink hoodie over black shorts over brown stockings stretches across table
length and long hair pours brunette waves over table side. Laughing. And eyes
dance bright in one-two-three, one-two-three waltzing laughter, jigging
chatter. Dancing on table top.
washes the red peony painted inside my tea cup. Bright blue handle. Red china
flower blooms in blue curve just above the curl of my finger. This cup also
gift. From the son who knows more about the weight set in the garage than about
tea cups. But he knows me.
this college daughter. I raise an eye-brow. And my straight line finds curve. Curves
up. And what flower blooms in curve just below eyes that smile, too? Laughter
warm. Laughter mine. If laughter had a color it would be amber. And my heart is
all red peony washed amber and drinking in laughter. We’re soaked in tears of
laughter. A joyful rain like the one falling from the sky today.
this very same daughter spilling amber all over my table top grabs my hand and
pulls me to patio, rain soaked. She twirls dizzy there. Soaking up laughing
rain. Soaking herself in splash falling from God’s eyes smiling.
I wonder how many rain drops fall because God is giddy with joy. I wonder at the
thunder. Is it the roar of His laughter? Lightening, the Texas Two-Step? Eyes
lit up bright as He jigs overtop earth table?
around you and see through it to Me,” God voice from autumn fire last week.
haven’t forgotten. Faith, trust, and all hope. Seeing faith, believing truth,
hoping through all. God hope. Regarding God, regardless, and because.
He Is. My Hope.
but oh so real. Glory-hope. Now-hope. Forever-hope. Faith is wrapped up in it.
My own faith endures because of it and I am looking. Looking around me. Looking
to unwrap faith.
happening slow. I’m slowing my world to see less blur. I’m watching leaves fall
slow in a morning wind that can’t make up its mind which way to blow. The wind
is blur, but the leaves aren’t. A swirl flocks on wings speckled yellow and
brown and… what’s this? Leaf wings and lights in the curl of my finger around
mug of morning coffee. It really does!
It’s no special color. Not red or bright orange. Just brown and yellow speckle.
But it is gift.
bend over it. Looking. And simply see through it to God. I do! It sounds too simplistic. Too easy. But last week was all autumn
fire. I gladly hold one plain leaf today.
many on the ground now. Tree limbs are being stripped. Leaf by leaf.
if rain is sometimes happy tears of God joy, couldn’t leaves falling be too?
are changing. Falling away. I’m changing and impatient for a few things to just
blow away. But pluck a leaf before it’s ready to fall and it will bleed wound.
Let it fall when it’s ready to let go and it will dance flutter.
carry leaf inside and set it on kitchen counter. Its veins are old and its skin
paper thin, fragile. But it’s free.
letting go isn’t forced. It’s an act of faith. And I see it in its nakedness
and hope holds my own faith. Hope for emotional healing. And mental healing.
Hope for chains to be broken and for beauty out of ashes. Hope for all that God
has said is. But not all seen, yet.
tug on hope.
is my hope. And didn’t Jesus endure for the joy set before Him?
tug harder on hope.
Way as long as forever wrapped around faith and trust. Pistis and pisteuo to
the end of joy. It’s all tied together somehow. Hope hangs naked, while faith
joy fills even now.
beautiful. But I’m afraid of it too. Because it’s “let us also be full of joy
now! Let us exalt and triumph in our troubles….” And it’s “let us rejoice and
exult in our hope of experiencing and enjoying the glory of God” (Romans 5:2-3
because this joy, this exultation in my hope of experiencing and enjoying God’s
glory is not without “approved faith and tried integrity.” Not without painful
birth to character.
what sort of character is birthed by “God’s love poured out… through the Holy Spirit
who has been given to us?’” (Romans 5:5). What sort birthed so? Christ
character. In me.
have desired and feared four times birthing pain. And gave birth to four
characters. I look at them all around me, and its life-joy to see through them
was easy when youngest of all bent all blond curl, hands and knees on sidewalk,
to watch roly-poly’s bend into little grey balls and then unfold and move a few
inches. And how I, too, slowed to watch patient with her just in case they
should do something rather spectacular like crawl extra fast, which they didn’t
ever.And it’s easy still to see when she
strums guitar and sings beautiful like she did last night. Easy to see through
laughter tears. I fumble urgent faith through change, stripping, falling leaves
and there tug hard on naked hope.
is called blessed, all this. This seeing through to God.
is called life-joy and satisfaction, all this regarding God, regardless and
it’s all wrapped up in God-hope.
that means a tree load in the back yard of this little life.
Hi! Welcome to this special little corner off the beaten track. I’m Carolyn-Elizabeth. The hyphen hasn't always been there, but it will be for the rest of my life because when the Lord gave me beauty for ashes and the oil of joy for mourning, He also gave me the most eloquent, simple hyphen and connected my given name to Carolyn-Elizabeth, which means, “Joyful Song-Set Apart for the Lord.”
Connecting with God’s heart is the theme which runs through each blog I post and book I write. My heart beats a little messy, but God’s heart is miraculous. So, I gather His miraculous into my messy and call it beautiful grace. Thing is, the holy whisper is stronger than any wilderness howl.
Whether you’ve been touring the world on-line and are just stopping by for a quick “hello,” or to kick your shoes off and stay awhile, your presence is a blessing to me. I hope my posts are a blessing to you.
Visit me on my website at: carolyn-elizabeth.com