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Thursday, August 30, 2012

Brides are wired to trust

My husband represents Christ to me.  One way he does this is by being believable. He is a truthful man, but sometimes he leads me on a goosey story that no one in their right mind would ever believe. The problem is that I believe him! Once he got me to believe in a fictitious animal called a Jack-a-lope. It's a cross between a jack rabbit and an antelope...and, to validate his story he had a post card with a picture of one on the front. Yes, such things exist...the post cards, not the animals. You have to travel to South Dakota to find them. No kidding. To my credit, I was suspicious at first. But in the end I believed him. He could tell me anything, and I would struggle hugely to keep myself from believing him. Why? Because wives are wired to believe their husbands as strongly as the church is wired to believe Christ, the Bridegroom.

Christ never tries to get His Bride to believe something that is not true. Never. You may say that's because He cannot be  anything but truthful, and you are right. He is truth. But wouldn't you say that it is also because He loves us? None of us, husbands included, can relate to never having been deceived, nor to never having difficulty either discerning, or speaking, the truth, but many a husband can relate the concept of loving his wife as Christ loves His Bride.  All the more true for a Christian husband because he himself knows something of the love of Christ .

As a wife, I will only speak from a wife's perspective.When trust has been broken, embrace the One who never has and never will be untrustworthy. Embrace the One who has never been deceived, and who has compassion on all who have. And all of us have. Don't be surprised when trust has been violated. Do we really think that Christ is susrprised? Don't write the person off. Christ doesn't. What is His response? Love. The Bridegroom is wired to love His Bride, and His Bride is wire to trust Him. Wife, has your husband been untrustworthy? Remember that he is just as deceived as you are, just as needy of the Bridegroom's love, and then trust your Bridegroom.

written by: Carolyn Roehrig
Just to be clear, believing in Jack-a-lopes is not enough to bring any of us to the point  of saying to Christ, "It's enough to trust You alone."  The issue of trust is huge and must be viewed rightly, through Christ.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

How does a wife respond?

How does a wife respond to a husband who needs rescuing? The Lord has many wonderful ways for her. Pray for what He says He will do. His Word is full of such passages to pray. Then watch. Pray watchfully and then patiently wait upon the Lord to do it.

Pray that He will rescue him "out of great waters, from the hand of the foreigner, whose mouth speaks lying words, and whose right hand is a hand of falsehood" (Ps. 144:7-8,11). Pray and watch it be done. Little by little, the rescue will come. Watch him begin to reject  all that is false and to be done with it. He will begin to express truth and will no more let the thief steal, but will work at retribution. His speech will begin to reflect what is wholesome and worthy, what is "good and beneficial....fitting to the need and the occassion...a blessing and grace to those who hear it" (Eph. 4:25-29). Pray and watch it happen.

Watch how "wasteful living" will not be named among him as you pray that he will "learn in his experience what is pleasing to the Lord," and that his life experience will become "constant proof  of what is most acceptable to Him" (Eph. 5). The Lord will do it. He is faithful to His word.

Pray and watch him begin to take "no part in [and have] no fellowship with the fruitless deeds and enterprises of darkness, but [begins] instead exposing what he practicd in secret." Pray and watch it happen, because God means it when He says, "When anything is exposed by the light, it is made visible and clear; and where everything is visible and clear there is light" (Eph. 5, again).

I have prayed these things and watched  them happen in increasing measure. My husband can see in the light, and so can I. He is "looking carefully how he walks," and because I have prayed this for him, it is becoming evident in me, too! Same goes for "living purposefully and worthily and accurately, not as the unwise and witless, but as wise (sensible and intellegent) people" (more of Eph.5). And there are few things that can get a wife to react impulsively, unwisely and without much thought than when she sees and feels danger, or the threat of it, over her  husband. But as she intercedes for him, God's truth will rescue her as well. It will come back upon her head, a blessing from the Word.

written by: Carolyn Roehrig
Have you experienced this? I would love to hear what God has done as you have prayed His Word!
E-mail me, or share in the comment box
God bless you!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

If you are a wife...

"Father, let the Holy Spirit have full dominion over me, in my home, in my temper, in every word of my tongue, in every thought of my heart, in every feeling toward my [husband]; let the Holy Spirit have entire possession" (adapted from a prayer by Andrew Murray).

Since my last post nearly eight months ago, this has become my prayer, accompanied by thoughts tied to it, such as, "As I have loved one another" (John 3:34). As I pick up blogging again, I invite you into the heart of my home...the kitchen. The coffee's brewing and the muffins are fresh out of the oven. Come in and stay for awhile, or stop by for a few minutes. What you read here will be chatty thoughts, not necessarily organized or polished and they may be misunderstood, so please don't  analyze them. They are just my imperfect thoughts as I "preach to myself" and find strength in the Lord and Spirit encouragement. As I talk about the day to day ups and downs, and hear some of yours, I hope that we can remember together that we are not alone!   We have one another to comfort, laugh with and cry with, and we have God.

If you are a wife reading this, then maybe you can identify with me when I say that loving our husbands in a Christ-centered way requires Holy Spirit power! It does! The fruit of the Spirit is love. And love is merciful, kind, patient, humble, forgiving, forbearing, sounds a lot like the fruit of the Spirit! Yet, above all this fruit, the Word tells us to put on love. The Word says so in Colossians 3:14, and a mere three sentences later this holy conversation addresses wives.

I know that I am not all roses. I have thorns. And those thorns can make it hard for my husband to get close enough to get a whiff of rose! But my husband also has thorns. He is a thorny man who would rather be compared to the Apostle Paul than a rose bush. Fair enough. The great apostle had a thorn. Wisely, scripture doesn't tell us what it was. It could have been the same kind of thorn sticking from my side, or the kind sticking from my husband's side, but whatever it was, don't you know, God's grace was needed for it. I know! So what is there to do but seek His grace? I am finding it as I pray through 1Peter 3 and parts of Ephesians 5 on my own behalf as a wife.I pray for grace to adapt to my husband, respect him, defer to him, enjoy him, openly praise and admire him and to be peaceful and gentle. I found all these descriptions in the Amplified Bible, and they are not easy to practice. I pray to be considered as one of Sarah's "true daughters," fearing nothing. Giving no way to unnerving anxieties. 

If any wife had reason to be unnerved by her husband's behavior, it would be Sarah. Abraham had thorns, too. He did some unnerving things. Nevertheless, Sarah maintained peace and did not loose respect for her husband, not because he earned her respect and not because he was so trustworthy that she had nothing to worry about, but because God is trustworthy and He is forgiveness. There is a strong link between forgiving others the way God forgives us and respecting others the way God respects us. His respect for one person is no more and no less than His respect for another person. His way with me, with my husband, and with us as a united couple is not based on our behavior, but on His character, and I find that wonderfully freeing!

written by: Carolyn Roehrig
Can you identify with some of this? I would love to hear from you! E-mail me at