"Hannah, why do you weep?...Am I not better to you than ten sons?" (I Samuel 1:8).

Who among us has never wept in our longing? I was doing just that the other day. I was calling out to the Lord while driving somewhere...I don't even remember where...when God answered me with this-"Carolyn, why do you weep? Am I not better to you than...?" It took my breath away. "Yes, Lord!" I wanted to say, "Yes,

 of course You are!" But, in honesty before Him, I had to just take a moment to think about what He was really saying. He was saying, in part, what Hannah's husband must have meant when he asked her, "Am I not better to you than ten sons?" In other words, "Hannah, I am here. I am your husband. You have me. Enjoy me with a measure greater than the measure of your longings."

Isn't this what our Bridegroom is saying? "My dear bride (put your name here), Am I not more to you than ...(fill in the blank)? Enjoy Me."

This is what I heard Him saying to me. And I had to reply, "How?" It was a heart-breaking reply, as His beloved, and after everything He had just said.

"How? How do I enjoy You? I know how to seek You. I know how to cry out to You, to praise You, to stay with You, to endure what things You have asked me to endure and to suffer these for Your name's sake. I have even learned within the limitation of these things to say, 'Though You slay me, yet will I wait for You and trust in You.' But how do I enjoy You?"

The answer I got was a quiet assurance that because He spoke His desire to me, He would fulfill it in me. "How?" My favorite question came out a whisper of amazement and hope. I don't know how, but I do know that somehow this morning I woke with a sense of freedom from my ten-sons longing.

"My beloved Bridegroom, You are better to me than ten sons. Make it so!"

written by: Carolyn Roehrig